53、The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
直译：小孩子要中间名，纯粹是为了让他知道他啥时候真的有麻烦了。
直译a：起个全名就为了揍孩子前可以底气十足地喊出来。
意译b：贾君鹏这名字就为了让他妈喊他回家吃饭！
54、It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
跳楼的时候，“啊——”的时候还没死，“啪！”那才是死了。
55、Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
人工智能从来敌不过天然sB
56、Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
直译：不要用眼镜腿来打男人，用棒球击杆。
意译: 要下手就得狠，甭来毛毛雨。
57、There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
直译：要想留住谁，在抱摔的时候有一条细线区分出你是否为高手。
其他译法：抱摔是留不住女人的，搂抱才管用。/抱和爆是有区别的。 /推倒和拥抱是有微妙的区别的哟！/拥抱和柔道里的压制是有区别的！
58、A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
所谓砍价，就是这东西虽然你不需要，但价格太好必须要买下来！
59、Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了。
60、My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
我的观点或许改变了，但我是正确的这一事实却亘古不变。
意译：我们要搞***，也要搞有中国特色的***。
61、My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
心理医师：你神经病！！！ 我：能说点别的吗？
心理医师：好！！而且你真TM丑！！！
62、 A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
一单纯傻儿子问他爹：“爸，结婚到底要花多少钱啊？”他爸说：“儿啊，我真不知道…没看见我还在交钱吗？”
63、 Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
有人说“打不过，就合作”。我说“打不过，也要打”。因为丫们指望你加入，得来点惊喜~！
64、When in doubt, mumble.
脑子不好使的话，你就嘟囔。
不明白的话，哼哼试试。
65、I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
我已决定长生不老，目前为止，感觉良好。
66、Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were
好客就是：让客人觉得他们像在他们家一样，尽管你真的希望他们滚回他们家。
67、If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
跳伞是这样一种运动：不成功则成仁！
68、A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
电视侮辱你的智商，电脑则是吐你槽的终极存在！
69、Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
知识就是力量，力量会邪恶化。那么就好好学习当大魔王吧！
70、Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
钱买不来幸福，但有了它，痛苦的日子会好熬一点。
71、Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
跟悲观主义者借钱吧！他反正不指望你还！！！